Again the start...

Well I am not good at keeping journals up. I keep getting prodded to do this one. Was thinking of what to post. Than it came to me.

I have started to collect tarot and rune speads and writing them down. I think I will start posting what I learn from those here. I also need to study the runes and tarot more.

Get overwhealmed with that and college..

Also was informed I need to leard Irish language. So I am like O_O language... ok

So here is to me trying to fit it all in and NOT be a lazy ass, which I might add is easy.

Faith

I keep my faith to myself. I am privite like that. I also believe that what you believe is what you believe and it is no more wrong than what I believe. It is that. Belief. Faith. It belongs to the person not the community. Faith, belief belong to the person and it is that simple and complex.

Intangable is what both faith and belief are. Both are personal. Both aew needed to live.

No matter what religion you believe or even if you believe all realigion is bunk, faith and belief both play in that.

Ramblings on Devotion

Devotion,  de·vo·tion [dih-voh-shuhn] Show IPA noun

1.profound dedication; consecration.

2.earnest attachment to a cause, person, etc.

3.an assignment or appropriation to any purpose, cause, etc.: the devotion of one's wealth and time to scientific advancement.

4.Often, devotions. Ecclesiastical . religious observance or worship; a form of prayer or worship for special use.

 

Origin:

1150–1200; Middle English devocioun  (< Anglo-French ) < Late Latin dēvōtiōn-  (stem of dēvōtiō ), equivalent to Latin dēvōt ( us ) ( see devote) + -iōn- -ion

Related forms

pre·de·vo·tion, noun

su·per·de·vo·tion, noun

Synonyms
2.  zeal, ardor. See love.

 

From dictionary.com

 

*******

 

That is the real meaning of the word. The next thing you need to ask is what does it, devotion, mean to you? 

 

To me it means that I am observing and honoring those that I cannot see. I have realized as well after doing a bit of soul searching that I over stepped some things in my devotion.  I should not be asking those that I honor to bend the rules of chance to suit me. That is wrong of me. I feel a little stupid in essence in asking for the rules of chance to be bent for me. I will ask for forgiveness of that later. I wanted an easier way out of my current situation, I know I need to work hard to change my life I just did not want so much risk. Oh well Life is risk and to show Them that I believe in myself and I do listen to Them I will do this, I will not curry Their favor to make it easier for me. I will just make things happen for me. I will honor Them by taking control of my life, living it fully, and doing what I can to make things happen for me and for them. 

Devotion to me also means trial by fire. To commit to something and to go though and do it. To be a Kamikazi, to be the divine wind that brings forth it's blessings from Them. To commit all the way to not be an almost, a should have been but to be the one who completes, the one who blazed, the one who did.

Random thought I needed to insert: Loki as the god of chance. Thor as a god of order. Working together they keep chaos at bay. When not working together they create chaos. I still need to work though this thought, just wanted to share it and put it out there.

Back to devotion, I have been pagan for a long time. I have been pagan before I knew what it meant. I have been devoted to figuring out how to put to practice how I feel about things. I do not take to anything easy. To commit myself fully is not something I do. I laugh when they say to do something for 30 days makes it an unbreakable habit. No so for me, there is nothing I cannot drop at any time and keep moving on. That kinda scares me. I am honestly not sure what it means.

I really want a teacher. Someone who can ride my ass and keep my moving forward. Keep my on course. I tend to wander off. "Oh shiny!!!" or "Oh furry" or "Oh that is shaped different" I distract too easy.

 

 For me to even have been on this path as long as I have is strange to me. I have been a pagan for so long. Yet I feel I know nothing. I do not understand simple thing. I do not understand greater things. Sometimes I feel so lost. Sometimes I read things that just make me want to give up.

I do not 'see' full colour scenes with sound. I get vague feelings. I get vague impressions. Sometimes someone will say my name a loud to get my attention. Yet I do my best to show devotion. I have my alters. I have them with the stuff people wanted on them. I light candles. I say prayers.

All I have is faith.

All I have is my devotion.

That is all I can give.

 

I always hope that that is enough. I worry sometimes that it is not enough. So I question my devotion. I question my feelings. I question myself.

 

Devotion is one of the hardest things ever.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Selfish pagans

Selifish pagans in general annoy the fuck out of me. I mean that. Not everyone has an amazing Godphone or can even hear the gods. Some only have their simple but not simple faith that the gods they follow like and hear them. Some only get feelings or dreams, even than dreams and feelings are fleating.

There is this girl on one of the groups I am in. She whines so much about this and that it is annoying. She is "me me me" and "I want it this way" it is annoying.

I am tired of that attitude.

Will add more to this later.

Thor

Todays post is going to be my thoughts on Thor.

Thor he is my Dad that is what he tells me and I am not one to argue when I am claimed. They know better than I. That is part of their nature. I am spiritually Thor's child, not physically in this life time but spiritually.

Dad wants me to work on being strong for me. I need to be strong. I need to stand up for myself. I need to learn to do that before it is too late.

I have learned from my childhood just to keep things to myself. Don's show what is bothering me. So I don't. It is something I need to work on. I am no one's doormat. I do act that way some times.

Dad does not want me to be a doormat. He wants me to be a strong young woman. Which is par t of the reason why I was sent to Uncle to train, to learn. I hope I am learning.

So I am learning strength.

Lost day Loki 30

This is just one of those songs. I have forgotten what it is about but it was something Uncle liked to listen too. A song Loki likes to listen to, not a song that describes him.

Lost day Loki 28

This song always reminds me of Fenris. This is a good song for him.

Lost day Loki 27

This song also reminds me of Loki.

lost day Loki 26

This is a song that reminds me of Loki.

Loki day 31

Loki the world breaker.
The defender of the odd.
The one who takes in the misfits.
The healer if the broken.
Illusion shatter.
Shower of what is false.
Mirror of self.
Word wizard.
Flame dancer.
Lover of the odd.

He is all of these and so much more. He is one who heals. He heals truly. He will take old wounds that have gone septic and heal them. Yes those wounds will leave a scar. Those wounds are healed. He is an amazing being.

Yet he has his darkness. He is a mad god as well as a sane one. He is madness from great pain. He is madness from great loss. He is madness from great betrayal. He has betrayed and he had been betrayed.

He is a balancing force. He is change.

Lost Days Loki 23

The fixer, that is how they treat him. That is how mankind treats him. The unwanted fixer. The one who takes the blame. The one who takes the fall. The one who saves the face of the others. Loki is blamed for the ills of the gods by mankind. Is he really at fault? No. He is the fixer. He is the one who breaks things to fix them. He is the one who puts himself out to fix the problems of others. He carries the blame. He carries the shame. He is the scapegoat.

He does all these things. What thanks does he get. None. His children get taken from him or murdered. Another song it does not describe him but it features David Bowie who reminds me in this character of Uncle. Now dance magic dance!

Lost days Loki Day 20

This is one of fie lost days. I will be working on these. Using music and thoughts to fill in how I feel about Loki.

Another song. Going Under by Evanescence. This sounds like Loki talking to the other gods.

"Going Under"

Now I will tell you what I've done for you -
50 thousand tears I've cried.
Screaming, deceiving and bleeding for you -
And you still won't hear me.
(going under)
Don't want your hand this time - I'll save myself.
Maybe I'll wake up for once (wake up for once)
Not tormented daily defeated by you
Just when I thought I'd reached the bottom

I'm dying again

I'm going under (going under)
Drowning in you (drowning in you)
I'm falling forever (falling forever)
I've got to break through
I'm going under

Blurring and stirring - the truth and the lies.
(So I don't know what's real) So I don't know what's real and what's not (and what's not)
Always confusing the thoughts in my head
So I can't trust myself anymore

I'm dying again

I'm going under (going under)
Drowning in you (drowning in you)
I'm falling forever (falling forever)
I've got to break through

I'm...

So go on and scream
Scream at me I'm so far away (so far away)
I won't be broken again (again)
I've got to breathe - I can't keep going under

I'm dying again

I'm going under (going under)
Drowning in you (drowning in you)
I'm falling forever (falling forever)
I've got to break through

I'm going under (going under)
I'm going under (drowning in you)
I'm going under

Loki 29

Loki Day 29. I have been really bad about this the past week it  seems. I have honestly missed days. X_X Well I am here again. I Have a song that makes me think of how he feels. It is Nickleback, I have so fallen out of love with this group, Saving Me just makes me think of Loki.

Why does this song speak so strongly. It talks about am I worth saving? The answer is yes we all are. Each and every one of us is worth saving including Loki. Life is worth the pain. Life without pain without growth is not worth living. We learn by living. No all of us have a fixer. There is a thought of the thought I need to make up.

I am going to go though and figure out how many days i am missing and than I am going to make up for those days.

Here are the words of the song.

"Savin' Me" by Nickleback

Prison gates won't open up for me
On these hands and knees I'm crawlin'
Oh, I reach for you
Well I'm terrified of these four walls
These iron bars can't hold my soul in
All I need is you
Come please I'm callin'
And oh I scream for you
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'

[Chorus:]
Show me what it's like
To be the last one standing
And teach me wrong from right
And I'll show you what I can be
Say it for me
Say it to me
And I'll leave this life behind me
Say it if it's worth saving me

Heaven's gates won't open up for me
With these broken wings I'm fallin'
And all I see is you
These city walls ain't got no love for me
I'm on the ledge of the eighteenth story
And oh I scream for you
Come please I'm callin'
And all I need from you
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'

[Chorus]

Hurry I'm fallin'

All I need is you
Come please I'm callin'
And oh, I scream for you
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin', I'm fallin'

[Chorus]

Hurry I'm fallin'

loki 25

another picture of Loki and his kids by redchocoroxas of DA.

Loki 24

Another bit of art by C. C. Corone Another vision of the beloved trickster.

Day 22 loki

Another picture by kurohaneshizumi of Loki as the Tarot's devil.

Loki day 21

Loki always seems to enjoy the odd or the something funny. The odd thing. Yes he enjoys them. So here is a funny picture found on a bridge in Ypsilanti.

Loki 19

Sharing another's art again. At a loss for words today. So the art is by april15. It is Fenris and Loki.

Loki 18

Today I think I will focus on Hel. She is one that people don't seem to pay attention to. She plays and important role. She is a death goddess that takes care of the Norse Underworld- Helheim. This is her home. She gets all those that do not die in battle. She gets the ones that die of old age. The one's that die from being sick. The ones that die from accidents. Anyone who did not die in battle goes to Hel's realm.

Death Maiden

Deep in the metaphysical earth
You sit on your thorne
Over looking all that come to you
The dead, the honored dead
They come to your table
They stay in your realm
Until such a time that they are reborn
You know their stories
You sing their songs
History is something you remember
The history of each and every soul that has crossed your path
You know them better than they know themselves
You are their judge
Their jury
You read their verdict
You decide if they are worthy of rest
Or if they still have a lesson they need to learn before
They are reborn on the earth
You are as much a prisoner
As both your bothers
Though your prison is much larger than theirs
Death is who you are
Death is what you rule over
You can appear as a beautiful maiden
You can appear as a scary unearthly maiden
You are whom you are
You are Death

Loki Day 17

Here is a picture for today. I have lost the thoughts to properly string words together. So I will post another's art here.  The artist is ladynorthstar, this is her vision of Loki and his family.

Loki Day 16

I sit here and I think of all the things Loki can do. There is no limit. Really no limit, why would he or any of them be limited? That makes no sense. It is like talking about binding. How do you bind gods? Gods can only be bound with the souls of those they love dearly and without question.

Love is both a binding emotion and a freeing emotion. It can lift us up or cause us to fall fast and hard without mercy. Love is all and nothing. Love is choice. Love is love.

What has Loki taught about Love? He taught me that love knows no age, color, creed, or sex. He taught me just to give love freely and if it is received well so be it. If it is not received well than so be it.

So today i show my fellows in this world that I love them. I accept the fact that they might not love me back or in the way I want to be loved but that I can love them.

Loki day 15

Questions float across my mind
I as of yet have no answers
When I think I have the answer
I find only questions
More questions
I find that I am content
With this content because of you
You have taught me that the questions
Are more important than any answers

Loki Day 14

The art today because words escape me is by lims_kraghma. This is his vision of Fenris as a human male. I think it is a beautiful picture of himself.

Loki Day 13

Picture is by: sandara

Loki's Bindings did they happen? Did they not happen? Was it a completely made up story? Or a refection on other bound god mythos?  Those are thoughts that run though my head. than I think of the pain he went though. The pain Sygins went though. That they both endured that angers me. I mean that. Both of them were in pain. He was over the poison when she had to wander away to dump the poison. The poison dripped on his face. She endured the poison as well. As the bowel got more full of the poison it would drip, drizzle over the side and her hands would be burned with it. This poem is for Sygins.

Lifted

Growing heavy in my hands
I watch the serpent's mouth salvate
The poison that it created was harsh
I could smell it burning the bowl in my hands
I look into the eyes of my beloved
The poison touches my hands
I almost drop the bowl
"Empty it love"
I look at him
Once again wishing that the bowl had no bottom
He sees the pain I know my eyes are showing
"Go."
His voice has a note of command.
I leave quickly to dump the poison
I hear him scream out
My heart bleeds
We repeat this patten
Day in and day out
Until one day
I go to dump the poison
I hear nothing
No scream
I rush back in
Fearing the worst
He is still bound
The serpent his tormentor is gone
I walk over to him.
"I don't know"
I set my bowl down
Fling myself on his chest
Weeping
"I love you."
I look at him biding that my eyes speak
For I am at a loss of words

loki day 13

Eluded

Words they elude
They fall away
Shifting though my fingers
Unable to grasp them
Unable to make sene of them
My thoughts like the words
Do no flow
They do not move
I sit
I wonder
What is wrong with me
I stare at the blank page
It is taunting me
Words will not come
Nothing
I sigh frustrated
I wanted to write
Something great
Something for you
Yet nothing comes
No words to express
To describe
No words
To paint
Just no words

Loki day 11: Fenris

Monster

Monster, that is what they call you.
Those that do not know you well.
Kin-eater, that is what they call you.
Those that do not understand what you are.
Destroyer, that is what they call you.
Those that have no understanding of the cycle.
Yes you can be these things.
Are you just these things?
No you are more than those words.
More than what their hate can understand.
You are a brother.
You are a lover.
You are a fighter.
You are a defender.
You are family.
Yes you are dark.
No you are not evil.
Nor are you wholly good.
You are bound yet unbound.


This is a new poem for Fenris. He seems to enjoy me taking a stab at it again. They are inspiring me. I enjoy being inspired. I am thinking at the end of the month I might gather these up and see about publishing a book with these in it. Or a few books, just small things... I think we are here to reconnect with them. This is one way. There are others.

Day 10 Loki

Taking a small break from Loki to talk of one of his four sons; Fenris the wolf. I have a poem that is coming to mind for him. So I will write that first than my thoughts on Fenris.

Monsters

They say you are a monster
I just do not see it
You are a wolf
You are a man
You are yourself
You can find me anywhere
As we travel together
As we walk down that road on our journey together
I find myself talking to you
Telling you about my hopes
my dreams
You smile in your tall lean man form
Hugging me to you
We walk
Sitting in the edge of a lake
We look over it
Others see you as an evil monster
Some just see a monster that is neither good nor evil
A being that just is
I see you as my kin
You are my friend and my love
We sit and talk about dreams, hopes and asperations
We talk about power and who wants it
We talk about how people use words
How imporant words are to people
You smile again
I smile back
We are bound together

Fenris has been with me a long time. He is almost always next to me. He is a friend. A companion. A defender. He loves so deeply. Those that he gives his love to. He and I have 'talked' about Tyr. He bares no ill toward the other man. He is not angry with him at all. He loves Tyr. Though he has impressed upon me that he was at first bitterly angry at the betrayal by Tyr.

His binding happened before I was born. I used to go look at him. He said that surprised him. For he was so angry than. Yet here I was so small and tiny compared to him. He said I toddled over to him once when he stopped thrashing around to stand in front of him. He said he could tell I was scared but not really of him. He said that I touched what was binding him and I cried. He remembers laying down and letting me closer to him. He stole my lunch from me and I snuggled in his fur.

His fur has this musky cinnamon smell.

I remember hearing Uncle, "Oh that is where she toddled off too." I felt myself lifted from Fenris and I opened my eyes and my Uncle stood there and looked at me and than his son. "You did nto eat her." Fenris growled at him. Loki laughed. "I see you recognized her than." He growled again. Loki looked down at me. "Time to go home Little Trouble, Dad is visiting today." As Uncle walked away I looked over his shoulder and watched Fenris.

He watched me. I reached for him. He reached for me. One day I thought to myself he would be free. I hoped that by than I could defuse that anger he held in himself. He deserved better, they all deserve better. I will heal this. I will. Stubbornness runs in the family blood line. So I will do it, no matter what.

Loki day 9

I sit here and I think about Loki. He is misunderstood as a god. I sit here and think why I do not make excuses for his behavior in the lore. I do not white-wash it. I know he has done good and bad things. I accept that. He is a god of CHANGE.

Change is never easy nor is it ever welcome. People do not like change. I take that back they do not like change that supposedly ruins them. They like change when it gives them a boost up in the world. Not when it tears their world apart.

Who am I to judge him though? So I do not. He is what he is.

If you don't want to work with Loki. Don't. There is nothing that says you have to work with him. Just do not tell me that I cannot work with him. For I will flip you the bird from this side of my screen where you cannot see me doing so.

There is something that says when you hail Odin you hail Loki or Odin will not accept your hail. Funny how that works. Odin gets hailed a lot and Loki gets forgotten so Odin cannot accept that hail. Funny thought huh?

Heathens tend to white-wash the other gods. A lot of heathens tend to over look the blood-lines of their gods. A lot their gods have blood from the third tribe the etins. This is over looked. This is down played. Because they are the gods of good.

Who's good? Ask yourself that. Who's good?

Think about that. Give it a good long think.

This next poem is for the family, yes I consider them family. They call me their child. They claimed me as their own. I will not nay say Their choice. This one is for all of them.

Lost Within

Lost within myself I twist I turn.

I cannot find my way.

I stumble and fall to my knees.

Pushing myself back up I keep moving.

Blindly I move forward.

Blinking coming out of the tangled darkness.

I see dancing flames.

I stumble toward it.

The darkness that surrounds me tries to swallow the light I see.

I keep moving, that beacon of light beckons ahead of me.

Hope flares anew in my chest.

I move forward to finally reach the fires.

Warmth fills me.

I feel a hand on my shoulder.

A dark young man stand there with me.

I look over near him a few others stand with him.

They smile and wink at me.

“Welcome back cousin.”

The dark haired young man smiles.

We are always within you.

Remember that, when you start to feel lost.

Loki day 8

I am really impressed with myself. I have been keeping up with this for eight days straight. I will finish the month yet!

Luck God

The wheel spins it turns which way will it end?

As it turns the heart beats faster.

Will it land on the number?

Will it land on the color?

Will the tiny, shiny ball choose another?

The wheel spins.

The ball stops.

The number is the one that was bet on.

A few more chips on the table, different number.

The wheel spins, red and black blur together.

The shiny silver ball makes it's way about.

Than the wheel stops.

The number landed on is the number needed.

Collecting the chips.

Cashing them in.

Thanking the one who brings luck.

Luck for the lucky.

Loki day 7

Words



What words to use to describe you?
Are there really any left?
Staring at the blank page.
It seems to mock my inability to form thoughts.
Mock my inability to string together my thoughts.
Like a lighting strike the words come.
Flowing with ease.
Coming together to form ideas.
Coming together to form pictures.
I am painting in words.
Creating wordscapes.

I know that you are one of the muses.

I know that you are holding the cup.

Word smith Loki.

Creative whirlwind Odin.

Spark of Inspiration Thor.

I thank you all for the help.

For this gift.

Words.

Creativity.

Inspiration.

Day 6: of Loki

As I wake this morning. I sit and stretch and look about me. I find myself grateful. I am so lucky. I mean that. I am so lucky. Sometimes I think I have Uncle's luck. Yes Uncle Loki is a lucky one. He is a god of chance and change. At least to me he is. :)

Here is to you god of chance.
May I always be lucky.
My I always have just what I need.
When I need it most.
Here to you god of change.
May I understand why.
May I always feel safe.
As You sweep the unneeded from my life.
When I need the extra help to do so.
Here is to you god of healers.
May I always be able to help.
May I always have the resources to help those in need.
Help me know when I have done enough.
Help me figure out when I have done enough.
Thank you for the strength to help others.
Hail to you and blessing to you, Loki

Day 5: Thoughts on what Loki does

Loki the great change bringer.
The shatterer of long held illusions.
The one who brings forth change.
Change that is often times unasked for, but needed.
The one who brings light to the skeletons in the closet.
The one who tears away the excuses.
He who lays all bare.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Recently in the news a prominent heathen has fallen. He is accused of some beastly things. Only time and the legal system will figure this one out. He this fallen one is one of those who has openly harassed those that follow Loki.

I know on his Kindred's forum I was harassed. Not only for following Loki and his family but also in choosing a Japanese name for my forum handle. I choose Arashi it means storm. Storm has been a nick name for a long time. That upset me. No one should have to explain why any god has chosen them. Explain that? Are you kidding me? Really? Are we that full of pride to think that we know why which god chooses which followers?

That was one of the things that made me stop going on their forum. I have used their library and downloaded a bunch of books. A tool is a tool no matter who makes it.

I have figured out why Loki has picked me. I am a healer or at least I try to be. I enjoy helping others. Helping them heal. I will go beyond my means to help. I will reach beyond my strength to help them. I am a healer of the lost souls. The hurt ones. The misfits. I try my best to heal them all. To let them know they are loved.

My only question is who heals the healer? Who shelters the healer?

I have found the answer: Loki he does this.

Thank you Uncle. I love you and I will continue to do the work of a healer on this world. Keep sending them my way.

Day Four: Loki

I honoring am honoring Loki and his family. I have always honored them. I do not talk about it. Why? Honoring Loki can get one into not only verbal trouble but other types of trouble. I have not gotten into any thus far. Though I have been told to be silent about whom I honored. Be silent?

Loki is important to me. I am upfront about whom I honor. I am dual trad I am a Celt Norse. I have said this before. My blood lines are Celt and Norse. So the Celt and the Norse gods call me.

Loki is one of my primary gods. I love this god. He is a great healer of those who has been broken. I now think he is a BIG reason why I have this insane need to help out the broken and hurt people.  I mean that. I feel an insane need to help people. To help them heal. To help them fly again.

My only thing is when I help I drain myself. I need to learn how to help and not drain myself. I do not have my Uncle's strength. That does not mean I do not want to help. I want to help. I want to help all the world's outcasts. Which is one of the biggest reasons I am one of Loki's children. I am a healer. At least I try and be a healer.

Give me the strength to help others
Give me the ability to find a way
Give me the strength to help myself
As I help others find their strength
To pick up their lives
To heal their wounds
To find themselves able to pick up their lives
Move on and pick up actually living

Day 3: Loki

Healing 

Great healer are you.
You who take in all those that people damage.
You reset broken wings.
You reset broken spirits.
You reset broken lives.
You fill up those that honor you with love.
Healing love.
Your greatest joy is watching people heal.
Your greatest happiness is watching them.
Find that their broken wings are whole.
Watching them soar in the clear blue sky.
Watching them move forward in their lives.
Stronger because of your care.

Odin

Traveler


One eyed wanderer shaking the world.
Taking what is his.
Not gentle in his ways.
Speaker of false words.
Speaker if the hard truths.
Silver-tongue’s brother by oaths and blood.
Maker of contracts.
Breaker of contracts.
Weaver of fate.
Honorable and dishonorable all in the same breath.
Lover and beloved of many.
Father figure and teacher to some.
Family to others.
One eyed staring into the abyss.
Looking ahead.
Seeing the unseen.
Knowing the unknown.
Creator of his own fate.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

For Grandfather, he wanted this. Now I need to send it off. 

Day Two: Loki

Master of Words

Silver smith glittery golden words fall from your lips.
Poetry falls from your mouth like a water fall.
Great torrents of the honest truth.
Flowing kindness like a lazy river.
Than mater of words you change.
Suddenly the words flowing are not so kind.
They cut away dearly heals illusions.
They force the person to look deeply at themselves.
They make someone think about their choices.
Words have so much power.
You teach us who wish to know.
The power of a well spoken word.
The power of an ill timed word.
The power of a well placed word.
How words can change a life for the better.
How words can free a soul from slavery.
Master of words there is so much to learn.
There is so much to be spoken of.
There are dreams to weave into reality of words.
Words have the power to create our reality.
Words have the power to destroy our reality.
Words can destroy or heal us.
Which words to choose?

Day One: Loki

Dearest Uncle. I hope that in this month that I can show you each and everyday how much I love you and the rest of my family. This is your month. I will get though this. I think that I will once I am able to prove to myself I can do this. Will choose a one person or two people a month to honor. For this month while it is yours is shared by others- family gets time  here too.

Short words for you Uncle.


Word smith, lover of words and how they flow.
Teach me how to speak well.
Teach me how to weave a web of words.
Teach me how to enchant verbally.
Teach me how to know when to speak out.
Teach me when it is best to be silent.
Word smith lastly, teach me how to Listen.

This month is for you Uncle and for the family. It is mostly your month though!

Gods that I honor.

I have a list. Yes the list has both Norse and Celtic gods. I actually have a few more Celtic gods coming forward. Which for me is good. These gods are my family. That is how they wish for me to treat them. That is how they treat me. These are my Parents, Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins and Kinfolk. Yes this is my UPG (unverified personal gnosis for all those who do not understand the short name)

My God List:

Odin is my Grandfather.
Jord is Grandmother.
Thor is Dad.
Loki is Uncle.
Sigyns is Aunt.
Hella is Aunt.
Fenris is cousin.
Jormundgan is cousin.
Narvi is cousin.
Vali is cousin.
Angurboda is an Aunt.
Morrigan is Mother.
Brighid is Aunt.
Oghma is Uncle.
Dagda is Grandfather.


These are the current ones. They have a tendency to invite new people once they think I am ready. Somedays I feel very crowded. I do not 'hear' very well. I feel Them well. They speak to me in dreams at times.

My alter

I thought I would post the pictures of my alter. I have a few diffrent alters around the house. Here is my personal alter.

Tattoo shop photoshoot

I am currently going to college for photography. Thought I would share a few photographs of mine on my blog. As well as my thoughts and feeling to how my newly chosen life's work is going to affect me.

This is from a recent photo shoot at a local tattoo shop. I need to go back. I want to take more pictures of the place and the people.

Ponderings and Poetry

Today is the day before the start of the month of Loki devotional that a new I hope maybe someday she can consider me this, friend is doing. I Have a poem for him I will post here and she will post there.

I am going to actually start using this more. I am not going back to LJ. Too much drama. Heck as of right now I am taking a break from Facebook. Too  much drama there. Why? People still seem to think they can police their friends. "I did not say that" gets said a lot. The acting like a person has no right to be angry or to express that anger so it does not hurt them is mind boggling. Or even to express the anger and not name names. I do not out the people I am angered with, they out themselves. If they just chill let the stormy one storm and not be so quick to defend themselves things would blow over quicker. And not need a month or more to cool off.

So Uncle wants me to start keeping this journal. Writing poetry and maybe even funny little short short stories, or not so funny short stories, I an unsure if I could write a funny funny short...

So here it will begin starting July 1. Month of Loki and his family.